. . . the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 NASB

“Go down, Jan.”

My mentor-friend Donna would say this to me, time after time. “Jan, you are in your head. Go down”

My problem was that instead of actually feeling my negative emotions,* I would do “commentary” on them and the situations that provoked them. Donna was trying to help me actually feel my emotions. You see, for years in “evangelicalism” I came to believe that anything negative was “sin” — negative feelings, negative thoughts, negative desires, etc. etc.

What a lie from the pit! After all, even Jesus had negative feelings and was assailed by temptation, but without sin.* Donna was trying to help me heal emotionally and spiritually.

So she would continually say, “Go down, Jan.”

Finally, I began to wonder, “Where am I going when I ‘go down?”

So one day I asked Donna, “Donna, when you tell me to ‘go down,’ where am I going?”

She paused and said, “I don’t know.”

So guess what that did for me — it sent me on a search, a search in the Scriptures. In my ignorance and naiveté and genuine spiritual curiosity, I wanted to know where I was going. So I looked up any and every passage that contained the words . . .

IN,

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and [a]the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
Galatians 2:20 NASB

. . . the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27 NASB

INNERMOST,

Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
John 7:37-39 NASB

INNER,

. . . that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being
Ephesians 3:16 ESV

And eventually, as I plumbed these and many other Scriptures, I came “face to face” with the indwelling Christ, who opened me up to know and experience the indwelling Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

GLORY!

Evangelicalism had often taught me to focus on externals, rather than the Christ within who would live through me, as me, as I let Him. And that is faith, which I had been struggling to understand. As Andrew Murray says,

Faith is the ceasing from all nature's efforts, and all other dependence; faith is confessed helplessness casting itself upon God's promise, and claiming its fulfillment; faith is putting ourselves quietly into God's hands for Him to do the work. -- Abide in Christ

The Holy Spirit began to do an exciting “reprogramming” work in my mind and heart. And He used these spiritual writers in those early days to clarify my understanding of the Christian life — Christ Himself!

Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ
You are the branch.—You need be nothing more. You need not for one single moment of the day take upon you the responsibility of the Vine. You need not leave the place of entire dependence and unbounded confidence.
Abiding in Me is indispensable, for, you know it, of yourselves you can do nothing to maintain or act out the heavenly life...
Brennan Manning, The Rabbi’s Heartbeat
We are not cowed into timidity by death and life. Were we forced to rely on our own shabby resources we would be pitiful people indeed. But the awareness of Christ's present risenness persuades us that we are buoyed up and carried on by a life greater than our own.
The Christ within who is our hope of glory is not a matter of theological debate or philosophical speculation. He is not a hobby, a part-time project, a good theme for a book, or a last resort when all human effort fails. He is our life, the most real fact about us. He is the power and wisdom of God dwelling within us.
A W Tozer, The Pursuit of God
When religion has said its last word, there is little that we need other than God Himself. The evil habit of seeking God-and effectively prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the "and" lies our great woe. If we omit the "and" we shall soon find God, and in Him we shall find that for which we have all our lives been secretly longing.
Henri Nowen, Bread for the Journey
Being a believer means being clothed in Christ. Paul says, “Every one of you that has been baptized has been clothed in Christ” (Galatians 3:26) and “Let your armour be the Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 13:14). This being “clothed in Christ” is much more than wearing a cloak that covers our misery. It refers to a total transformation that allows us to say with Paul, “I have been crucified with Christ and yet I am alive; yet it is no longer I, but Christ living in me” (Galatians 2:20).
Thus, we are the living Christ in the world. Jesus, who is God-made-flesh, continues to reveal himself in our own flesh. Indeed, true salvation is becoming Christ.

Little by little, I began to rest in the indwelling God — no longer “earning” but rather enjoying Him and letting Him live through me . . . as me.

6 For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death works in us, but life in you. 2 Corinthians 4:6-12 NASB

Amen!

YOUR TURN

Before starting your own remembering stones, be sure to read the introduction to this series:
Remembering Stones: Reflecting on a Life Being Lived. This will help you with perspective.
Also to get caught up with the series, see:
Stone #1: The Will of God
Stone #2: The Holy Spirit
Stone #3: The Holy Scriptures
Stone #4: The Gospel of Grace
Stone #5: The Sovereign God
Stone #6: The Dark Night of my Soul
Stone #7: The Smile that Destroyed my Religion
Stone #8: No More “He Loves Me…He Loves Me Not
Stone #9: A branch in the VINE

What about you, dear reader? What are your earliest memories? Was there a significant person, place, truth that impacted you in your early years? What were your “stepping stones/remembering stones”? This doesn’t have to be set in concrete. You may likely change around your order and even delete/add as you go along. Just jot down your “now thoughts.”

And jot down even the hard things that happened in your life. You can then process them with the Lord. Watch how He takes those struggles and trials, as time goes on, and “filters” them into the truths about Himself and about your life that you can build upon.

Just start writing or journaling your thoughts — no need to write it up formally. I had started out with “Topics” and descriptions long before I started writing it up formally.

Happy reminiscing, recording, and writing!

And a shameless plug: The With-ness of our God ( Kirkus Review)