Letting Go: a Healthy Detachment — A Branch In the Vine

Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man. John 2:23-25 ESV

Jesus lived with what I call a "healthy detachment." I discovered this years ago as I was meditating in John, chapter two. Even though people were "believing" in Jesus left and right because of the miracles He was performing, He didn't entrust the well-being of His soul to them. He knew human nature. Jesus deeply cared about people, but He knew the only One to whom He could safely entrust Himself was His heavenly Father.

We need that healthy detachment in our own lives, don't we? But it is often difficult to know when and how to "let go" in a relationship. I am delighted to introduce you to my friend, Tresca Grannum, our Guest Branch for today. Tresca comes to share some helpful insights into this whole issue of "letting go."

Tresca has been in love with her Lord for almost 40 years. She is a retired psychotherapist. Tresca, a commissioned minister through Network 220, continues serving her Lord and others through pastoral counseling, writing blogs and children’s books.

Tresca found my blog, A Branch in the Vine, back in 2015 during a low period in her life. She describes it this way:

"We met during one of the darkest hours of my life. I was going through major depression, my brain atrophy was out of control, and my life was falling apart. In the midst of all of that I came across your blog, abranchinthevine, and became immediately connected to you. Light came into my darkness as Jesus shared His Heart through you to me the end of 2015. Since then we have loved and encouraged each other!"

So it is with pure delight that I present to you, my sister in the Lord, Tresca Grannum. She has been a true encourager and prayer partner.

Welcome, dear friend. And thank you for sharing what the Lord has given you.

LETTING GO OF RELATIONSHIPS

... “Letting Go means to entrust into the hands of the Lord, to surrender control of, to relinquish power over, and to trust the Lord with.” Only in Letting Go will our minds, emotions, and wills find rest and cease to struggle.

Today, I want to focus on Letting Go of relationships. One of the most difficult challenges I found in my own life is Letting Go of relationships. We have a desperate need to be: loved, understood, respected, appreciated, and feel secure … our Papa made us this way. For these reasons, we place these expectations on others to fill and they can’t, they weren’t created to, Jesus was. I hope you heard me. We were created with deep and intimate NEEDS, but our Papa sent Jesus Christ to fill them, not other fragile, human beings, who are just dust, who are trying to find their way like us. We place our demands on others hoping these relationships go smoothly, especially those who are close and dear to us like our spouses, children, friends, and family members. Our desire is, “Let’s Just Get Along!” Instead of getting along, our relationships seem to fall apart every time we think they are fixed.

We weren’t created to fix each other … that’s the Lord’s job. He is the Savior of the world, the Restorer of human souls, and the Lord of His creation … we aren’t.

If we aren’t careful, we manipulate each other, play on each other’s emotions, become passive aggressive, and greatest of all, controlling; this is the enemy within us, the flesh. Instead of turning to the Lord with our needs or desires, we turn to the flesh to get our needs met. We try to control other’s behaviors by ignoring, belittling, bringing up the past, always focusing on the negative rather than the positives, accusing, and talking down to each other, or saying “if it was me,” pounding them with scriptures to convict them or change them, and other tactics to get our way. If you have tried any of these tactics and found success, then you have mastered using the powers of darkness to get your needs met… Congratulations! If you feel good about doing this and others around you are happy you used these tactics, there is one who isn’t happy… Jesus Christ our Lord. His desires for us is to Let Go by entrusting these relationships to Him.

Last week, I gave you the process to help you with Letting Go of painful relationships. Today, I want to share what it really means to Let Go. I have used the poem below in my counseling sessions for years, I hope it is helpful.

LETTING GO

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off; it’s a realization that I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable (means they have the ability to do for themselves) but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands but in my Lord’s hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another; I can only change myself through God’s grace.

To let go is not to care for but to care about.

To let go is not to fix but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective; it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what the Lord desires me to be “In Him.”

To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more!

LORD, TODAY I LET GO OF (person or persons):

One of my favorite sayings of all times is, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours (to enjoy life with); if they don’t, they never were.” The statement immediately above was attributed to Richard Bach who wrote the enormously popular inspirational work “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”

Jesus has set us ALL FREE to love and be loved, by Him first, then by each other. Some loves we shared were only for a reason, some for a season, but the ones that return to us after entrusting them to The Lord Holy and Healthy, are for our Lifetime… so enjoy them with His grace!

Prayer:
Thank you, Lord Jesus, you are the Savior of every human heart and the Lover of our Souls. Not one of us can change the heart of another, but You can. I trust you today with my lost loved ones and all of those who are near and dear to me. I give them to you this day, I don’t want to manipulate, play on their emotions, become passive aggressive, or throw out spiritual jargon to convict them to get my way, and if I use fleshly tactics in the future, please convict me and show me. AMEN.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For more words of wisdom and encouragement, be sure to visit Tresca on her blog, His Precious Gift: Eternal Riches for Your Soul. Her books are available on Amazon.