The God of My Mothering: the Unchanging GOD

Where had the years gone?

Our son Jeremy was already married for 3 years and moving on with life.

Our daughter Beth --the "baby" of the family-- had just graduated from UD, gotten married, and moved to Arizona all in one month.  To top it off, our surrogate daughter Michelle, who had lived with us for about 3 years, moved to California a couple days after Beth's wedding.

Here I was with the "Empty Nest."  I guess I had lived as if there would always be young people in my home to spice up life.  Regrets started flooding in:  "I should have relished every moment more consciously."  " I should have enjoyed it more, rather than taking everything so seriously." And on and on with those thoughts that "eat you alive".

To add to all that, my mom was turning 80 and my mother-in-law, 81.  A friend of ours told us that statistically very few of those who enter their 80's live to be 90.  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  Chances are, we would be burying our moms in the next 10 years.  I guess I had taken it for granted that my hero of a mom would only be a phone call away or a day's drive away.

It wasn't that I didn't have other things in my life.  I had a "big" life...teaching ESL class, Bible studies, retreats...

But I was grieving!  Emotionally, I went into a months-long melancholy.

I started to ask myself, "What really endures in this life?"  In my head, I knew the answer, but I needed an answer for my heart.  Everything really important to me was drastically changing, and I guess I hadn't seen it coming!  Or maybe, being as independent and self-starting as I am, I didn't realize that it would be so hard!

Well, God, in His usual amazing way, started answering my questions and meeting me in my struggles.  In my devotions one day, I read:

In ages past You laid  the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of Your hands. Even they will perish, but You remain forever; they will wear out like an old clothing. You will change them like a garment, and they will fade away. But You are always the same; Your years never end. The children of Your people will live in security. Their children's children will thrive in Your presence. Psalm 102:25-28 NLT

So what really endures no matter the changes in life?  The Everlasting GOD and those who belong to Him from generation to generation.

Let me ask you, dear moms,

When the "dust" of your mothering has settled, and you find yourself with "the Empty Nest"... When you start to lose the heroes of the previous generation, and you find yourself nearing the top of the generational ladder... What will stabilize you for the days ahead? To Whom will you turn...Who will never change and will be there for you no matter the changes?

May you find your comfort and stability in our Faithful, Unchanging God. And may you find your purpose in an ever deepening walk with Him.

FAITHFUL ONE Brian Doerksen

Faithful One, so unchanging Ageless One, You’re my Rock of Peace Lord of all, I depend on You I call out to You, again and again I call out to You, again and again

You are my Rock, in times of trouble You lift me up when I fall down All through the storm Your love is the anchor My hope is in You alone

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecmDytp3nNw[/youtube]

An Open Letter to a New Mom

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY, dear New Mom!

Welcome to a whole new mode of existence --that of being forever "MOM."  Your life will now take on exciting dimensions you’ve never before imagined.

You've probably gotten all kinds of advice -- some great, some good, some best to be forgotten!  Well, here's mine to add to the mix: “Stay a beloved child in dependent and intimate relationship with your Abba Father” (1John 3:1).

God tells us that we become like what we focus on  (1John 3:2; 2Cor 3:18).  As you focus on Him, you will more and more become like the Only Perfect Parent.

So let yourself “be parented” by Him everyday.  All else flows from that:  strength, wisdom, patience, insight, peace, rest, etc.  And you’ll need all of these and more!

Refuse to think of yourself as separate from your Father God (Col 3: 1-4) – that’s the devil’s trap.

Return in your mind and heart to that sacred, secure place in God from whom flows everything and anything that you will ever need.

Many blessings on you and your precious little one.

As I affectionately say “We moms are ‘ruined’ for life – we can never not care again!”

Welcome to that glorious Sisterhood!!!

With much love Jan & Old Experienced Moms of every generation

Children Incognito

John at playground in Metafe

In April 2005, my husband John came home from work and said, “I’m going to Shanghai next week for work!”  Now you have to know that neither John nor I had been world travelers and haven’t even really had that on our “bucket list”.  The idea of his going (by himself, mind you) to Shanghai was very terrifying…to both of us!  As he was preparing to go, he was prayed over and encouraged by our kinship/small group to trust the Lord in this test to his faith.

I took him to the Dayton airport very early the morning of his departure. After John checked his bags, I cried, kissed him good-by, and prayed.   He slowly made his way in the serpentine line through which he had to go to get scanned.  Then he would be out of sight and on to the gate.

There he was -- my tall, kind, gentle soul of a husband.  I knew he was scared, and I was scared for him. All of a sudden, as clear as a bell, the small Voice: “John is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”  What did that mean?  I would soon find out…

When I walked out of the airport to go to the car, what had been pitch-blackness (because of the early morning hour) had been transformed into the most beautiful, crystal clear, spring morning.  I just couldn’t go back home on the interstate on a morning like this!   I had to ride through the country.  So I left and went north, not knowing where I’d end up.

I soon found myself in the parking lot of one of my favorite places:  Charleston Falls Nature Preserve.  Normally, I don’t go to remote places by myself, but I sensed the Voice drawing me on.

Nate at playground in Pensacola 

As I walked down the path, I thought of our son-in-law Nate, who just a few days earlier had left for Djibouti, Africa.  I pictured him in his Air Force camouflage, saying good-by to our daughter Beth, his wife of less than a year.  And the Voice came again, “Nate is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”

Jeremy at playground in Pensacola

I walked on.  I remembered our son Jeremy a few years earlier, diagnosed with thyroid cancer at age 20.  He was scared but trusting God.  Again the Voice, “Jeremy is just a little child, locked up in an adult body, trying to live an adult life in an adult world.”

Then the truth dawned upon me:We are ALL little children, locked up in adult bodies, trying to live adult lives in and an adult world.  And the only way we can do that is by living as little children with our Abba Father God!

I thought about Jesus, the Perfect Child of His Father.  How did He  live?

He lived in dependence upon His Father. Jesus said, The Son can do nothing by Himself; He can only do what He sees His Father doing. John 5:19

He lived secure in His Father’s love. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing. John 5:20

He lived in submission to His Father’s will. In the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before His crucifixion, Jesus prayed,  My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will. Matthew 26:39

He lived with His Father in trust & vulnerability.In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One who is able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence.  Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. Hebrews 5:7

This is good news, because the Perfect Child of the Father lives in me (Col 1:27).

He lives His Child-life through me as I surrender to Him!  So now I know I don’t always have to have it all together.  I can be vulnerable with my Abba and trust that He will enable me, through His indwelling Son, to live an adult life in an adult world till He calls me home!

I love a song that Twila Paris wrote and recorded many years ago in response to a teaching by an elder in her church.  He spoke about being childlike before God.  The elder had said that we don’t need to act “tough and brave”.  We can cry before our Father and trust Him to work in our lives.  That really struck home with Twila, because she had sensed that people were putting her on a pedestal because of her rising popularity as a singer and song-writer.  And so she wrote the song, “The Warrior is a Child”.  Maybe you will be able to identify with message of this song as I did:

Lately I've been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I'm amazing Strong beyond my years But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while 'Cause deep inside this armor The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest People say that I'm amazing Never face retreat But they don't see the enemies That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and look up for a smile 'Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child

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“You are from God, little children, and…greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

Arrested by the Risen Christ

I AM the Resurrection and the Life; he who believes in Me shall live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. John 11:25-26 Most of us know the story of the apostle Paul and how he was arrested by the Risen Christ on his way to Damascus.  His life was never the same again!  He went from a legalistic, persecuting Pharisee to a bond-slave of the Lord Christ.

None of us would say we are in the same category as the apostle Paul.  But really, in a sense, those of us who have been arrested by that same Living Christ have experienced the same thing...a life totally changed forever!  And a hope that transcends this temporal, earthly life!

I'd like to tell you about a friend who was arrested by the Risen Christ.  She's virtually unknown, except by those whose lives she touched.  Her name is Brenda.

When Brenda came to the Lord after a difficult past, she was totally changed forever!

Brenda was always the one who asked me what we would do during our summer Bible study in our ladies group.  I often didn't take the summer off because of Brenda's gentle nudging.  She was hungry for the Lord and his Word.

And she was hungry to see those she loved come to Christ.  I remember one time in her old neighborhood, we did a prayer walk together.  We walked up and down the streets praying for neighbor after neighbor.

Life wasn't easy for Brenda.  But her perspective was clearly seen in her life verses:

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. 2Cor 4:7-12

Well, Brenda went home to be with the Lord last fall, after about a 6 month battle with cancer.  We were all stunned...but I don't think Brenda was!  And she was ready.  On our occasional walks during that time, she always talked about her concerns for her loved ones -- her husband, her daughter and son, her mom...never about herself.  Sure, she wanted to live to see her grandkids (which was my prayer for her).  But she knew her Christ, and she trusted his decision.

A day or two after Brenda went home to Jesus, I was riding in my car to meet my friend Penny at a nearby nature preserve to walk.  It was a gorgeous, sunny fall day!  As I was passing a breathtaking field of sunflowers, I  became conscious of the song on my car CD player... "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin.  Immediately I knew that this was Brenda's song.  Now when I hear it, I think of her and the blessed hope that we have in  the Risen Christ:

There's a peace I've come to know Though my heart and flesh may fail There's an anchor for my soul I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome And the grave is overwhelmed The victory is won He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name No more sorrow, no more pain I will rise on eagles' wings Before my God fall on my knees And rise I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near When this darkness breaks to light And the shadows disappear And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome And the grave is overwhelmed The victory is won He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name No more sorrow, no more pain I will rise on eagles' wings Before my God fall on my knees And rise I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, "Worthy is the Lamb" And I hear the cry of every longing heart, "Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain I will rise on eagles' wings Before my God fall on my knees And rise I will rise

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Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!

The Green-Eyed Monster and Other "Fruit-Killers"

By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. John 15:8

When you think of "fruitful Christians", who comes to your mind?  Billy Graham? Mother Teresa? Beth Moore? John Piper? Others?

What is it about them that makes them "fruitful" in the John 15 sense of the word?  ...displaying godly character?  ...doing good works? ...teaching the Bible?  ...leading many to Christ?

My guess is that one of the main reasons they are fruitful is that each has allowed the Lord to live through his/her unique life in His unique way, despite criticism, opposition, and jealousy of others.

And I think it's the same for us too!  The Lord wants to show forth His glory in a unique way in each of our lives:

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Gal 5:22-23

As each one has received a special gift, use it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold [multi-faceted, multi-colored, variegated] grace of God.  Whoever speaks, let him speak, as it were the utterances of God; whoever serves, let him do so by the strength which God supplies, so that in all things, God will be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11

But there are hindrances to the fruit-bearing process.  One of the biggest "blockers" to unique fruit-bearing is jealousy...and related evils, like comparison and competition, one-up-man-ship, expectations, holding offenses, and the like.  All of these will kill the fruit the Lord wants to produce in our lives.

Think about it!  If we are always comparing ourselves to "other branches," we have our attention off of the Lord and what He may be doing in and through our lives.  What a waste of precious time and energy...much less spiritual fruit!

As I was in the midst of writing this blog, our pastor gave an amazing sermon on jealousy and competition from John 3:22-30.  He said that jealousy minimizes what we have and exaggerates what we don't have.  Quoting Rick Warren, he pointed out, "Envy is resenting God's goodness to others and ignoring God's goodness to me."  What a sin against our Creator and Redeemer!

But there's also a "flip-side" to this issue.  What if it's obvious to you that someone is jealous of you and competitive toward you?  And that someone is important in your life, like a sister or brother or spouse or friend or in-law or co-worker or neighbor? How do you handle that?  Do you shrink back from what you feel God is doing in and through your life so as to not cause problems or so they don't think you are showing off.  Or do you continue to live your life, focusing on the Lord despite criticism and "emotional walls" that may go up toward you in those relationships?

Several years ago, I was struggling with this very issue.  It was at a time when our son was a student at University of Dayton.  Jeremy was being inducted into an honor society, and there was, of course, a ceremony with speeches etc.  I was happy to be there but somewhat dreading having to sit through long speeches.

Wow! Was I surprised!  God in His grace used the short, but pointed speech of the college chaplain to speak to my heart.  I don't remember what he said, but I do remember two quotes he used which changed my life that very day.

I'll close with these quotes and with the prayer, dear sisters and brothers, that the Lord would set you free to be His unique abiding branch.  Then you will bear His unique fruit to the glory of the Father!

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. If you give the world the best you have, it may never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and other people anyway.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us… And as we let our own light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela 1994 Inaugural Speech

Job Descriptions

By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. John 15:8 Have you ever started a job with no job description?  I have, and it's pretty confusing.

About 8 years ago, I was looking for a part-time teaching job.  A friend asked if I would like to apply to substitute teach in ESL & GED classes.  I told her that I didn't have a clue about either one of those.  She assured me that it wasn't difficult.  All I had to do was follow the teacher's lesson plans.  So I naively applied.

Well, guess what?  As my application reached the supervisor's desk, the beginning ESL teacher was in a very serious accident.  This was at the end of the first week of class.  By then, beginning ESL students don't know much more English than the day they walked in.  There were no lesson plans and no curriculum, because the teacher was so experienced that she did her own "curriculum".  Needless to say, I was terrified.  But God met me in my need (and that's for another post!).

BUT that first year, I had no job description.  I just took the bull by the horns and prayed and taught and loved it.  And I think the students did too, by God's grace!  (I'm still teaching that class 8 years later.)

However, without a job description, I made many mistakes and often got myself in trouble.  Most of the time, my mistakes were from my ignorance...or from my zeal to "do things right".  As a result, in several instances, I unknowingly went over the head of my supervisor and assumed her role.  Not good!

That's what happens for us believers with living the Christian life.  I don't think we truly understand our "job description."   We try to do in our own strength the things that only God can do.

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John 15 is a perfect place to start to understand what it means to be a Christian (the branches) in relation to our Father (the Owner/Gardener) and His Son (the True Vine).

So let's look at WHO does WHAT in a vineyard?

First there's the Gardener or Vinedresser.  His job is to care for the vine and branches by watering, fertilizing, and above all... pruning. Without that almost "violent" pruning, a rich crop cannot come forth.

And after all, the vineyard owner's reputation is at stake!  If someone sees a barren vineyard, no one shames the branches or even the vine, but rather the owner/vinedresser.  That's because whoever does the work gets the credit or the blame!   So it's his job to do whatever is necessary to ensure an abundant crop of grapes.  Even the good, new growth gets cut back so as to bring forth an abundance of fruit.

A Pruned Branch 138_5713

As we've already seen, that is what the Father does for us branches.   Sometimes we may feel like we've grown so much and have been "fruitful"...then all of a sudden, the desert! dryness! seeming barrenness!  But the process is not done yet!

Then there's the Vine.  The Vine is the source of life for the branches, which then enables the fruit to come forth.  Without the life of the Vine flowing through healthy branches, nothing fruitful can happen!

Jesus is the Source of life for us His branches.  In the previous post we saw that Jesus, the I AM, is LIFE itself! In Him was life, and the life is the light of men...I came that they might have life, and have it abundantly. John 1:4; 10:10b

And that's why the main job of the branches is to abide or stay connected to the vine.  The branches are the vehicles for the life of the vine to flow through so that fruit will come forth.

Jesus said, Abide in Me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  John 15:4

So what does it mean to abide in Christ?  It means to live in & from, remain in, sink down deep into, rest in, stay [experientially] connected to HIM!

My couch of abiding138_5823

Here's a feeble, but hopefully helpful illustration of what I think it means to abide.  I have this wonderful couch in my living room.  It is hard to sit or lie on this couch without falling asleep.  When I come home from a full day of teaching, I look forward to sinking my weary body into that couch.  I'm often able to just put some instrumental music on and surrender to the comfort of my glorious couch. Later, I leave that place refreshed and energized!

However, sometimes I still have things I need to do before supper time.  So I abandon my tired self to my life-giving couch and make my phone calls or read my lessons or do whatever duty or desire dictates.  I still come away refreshed because I'm working from a position of rest.

That's what I think abiding in Christ means.  I do what I do from my position of rest in my Glorious Vine.  I'm secure in Him and He in me.  His resurrection life flows through me, His branch, to bring forth the fruit designed by the Father for my unique life.

What about you?  Are you living the Branch-life?  Do you do what you do from the position of rest in your Glorious Lord Christ? Or are you trying to do what only God can do -- give life and produce fruit?

I am the Vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me, you can do nothing.  John 15:5

The True Vine

I AM the True Vine... John 15:1 “Tell us about your name…”  That was the opening “ice-breaker” at a teacher in-service I attended a few months ago.  I was glad for that topic, because I have an interesting name.  In fact, each of my names (even including my married name) has something unique about it.

My full name is Janet Gale Renner Loyd.  “Janet” is after my mother whose name is “Jeanette” (apparently my Polish grandfather had a French girlfriend during WWI by that name).  My middle name is the first 3 letters of my mother’s maiden name (Galuszka) G-A-L plus an E…”Gale”.  My husband (as well as my aunt/godmother) would say that this is an appropriate spelling rather than the usual “G-a-i-l” because of my similarity to a “whirlwind” (ha, ha).  “Renner” is a German name, and have you noticed that it can be spelled forward and backward the same way?

That leaves my married name, “Loyd”.  That’s right, it IS spelled correctly. (I always spell it, but people still insist on putting 2 L's).  My explanation for the one “L” spelling is that my husband had some lazy ancestors somewhere in his past.  I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes for an interesting explanation.

The True Vine, A Murray 138_5831

Today, young parents seem to be choosing names for their children, not based on important people in their lives, but on the “music” or pleasantness of the sound of the name.  And that’s okay.  There are some fine ones out there…like “Kaden” and “Evan” and “Carter” and “Eli” (these just happen to be my grandsons’ names). And then there are some beautiful ones like “Lilly” and “Olivia” and “Emily” and “Victoria”.

But in Bible times, things were different.  A person’s name represented his character or a call in his life.

That being true, I wonder how Jesus would have answered the “ice breaker” question:  “Tell us about your name…”

He may have said, “My name ‘Jesus’ was given to my mother by an angel.  It means ‘Savior’.  My title ‘Christ’ means “Anointed One’ -- I am the Messiah, the Promised One foretold throughout generations.”

He then might go on and on with significant name after significant name -- names such as  Lord, King, the Lamb of God, the Alpha & Omega...

But I suspect the reply He would most want to give would be simply, “My name is ‘I AM’…I AM everything and anything you will ever need, because I AM Jehovah God the Son.”   Jesus wasn’t hesitant to use this name to refer to Himself in His conversation with the legalistic religious leaders...and was almost stoned for blasphemy!

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly I say to you, before Abraham was born, I AM."  So they picked up stones to throw at Him. John 8:58-59

This sacred name of God was not even allowed to be spoken by the devout Jew at that time, because it spoke of the very essence of God Himself...the Eternal Present...His Essence is His Existence..LIFE itself!

Jesus further elaborated on this divine name in the rich metaphors of the Gospel of John:

I AM the Bread of life,...I AM the Light of the world,...I AM the Door of the sheep,...I AM the Good Shepherd,...I AM the Resurrection & the Life,...I AM the Way, the Truth, & the Life,..I AM the True Vine. John 6,8,10,11,14,15

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Several years ago I was at an ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International) teachers’ convention.  One of the fun parts of those conventions was to visit the booksellers’ booths.  I love Christian books, and I love a bargain, so for me it was always a “win/win”.

This particular time I found a treasure of a children’s book called God Says I AM: What God tells us about Himself in the Bible – from A to Z. This wonderful book goes through the whole alphabet describing who God is.  I have since given this sweet book to each of my two grandsons who have trusted in the Lord Jesus for salvation…to commemorate that glorious day that they were born into God’s family.

I’ve challenged my almost five-year old grandson Kaden to try to learn all the descriptions of God in the I AM book.  We are both working on it together, and every time I visit, we practice.  But this last time together was especially precious.  After Kaden & I sat together seeing how much we could remember, I went back through quickly repeating all of the descriptions while looking at the stunning artwork:

God says I AM – the Artist, the Builder, the Creator, the Designer, Everywhere, your Father, Good, the Healer; I do the Impossible; the Joy-giver, King of kings, Love, a Mystery, Never-ending, the Only One, Power; I Quiet the storms; Real, your Savior, Trustworthy, Unfailing, Voice, Wisdom; fiX your eyes on heaven; I want to know You; the A to Z!

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Then I almost breathlessly ended with, “And all of that is what God says He Is!”

Kaden looked up at me and said with warmth and amazement, “WOW!” That’s right, Kaden…WOW!  This is your God!

And this Amazing God is the Father's True Vine...because everything that's true of the Father is true of the Son. 

He is the image of the invisible God...For in Him the whole fullness of deity dwells in bodily [human] form. Col 1:15; 2:9

I AM the Vine. You are the branches.  If you abide in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.  Apart from Me, you can do nothing. John 15:5

May we, Your branches, be WOWed by YOU, the Father's True Vine, all our days!

Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

The Father's Pruning

I am the true Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.  Every branch in Me...that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:1,2 From what I understand, important to the process of growing grapes is pruning the vine.  Now I am definitely not a gardener!  So if I have ever pruned anything, I've done a very wimpy job of it.

I was shocked just a few weeks ago when we visited a vineyard in Temecula Valley, CA.  John & I had traveled there to help our daughter and son-in-law move into the house they were renting.  I told Beth I'd like to see a real grape vineyard "in person" because of John 15 and this new website.  So off we went!

A Pruned Branch 138_5713

Now in my mind I was thinking at least green and lush...after all, this was Southern California and tulips and flowering trees were blooming.  But NO!  What I saw was vine after vine with absolutely NOTHING on them.  I could just barely see little stubs attached.  Those were the branches!

Oh my!  Talk about instant spiritual lesson!  Have you ever felt like a little stub of a branch, stripped bare?  Over the course of my sixty-plus years, I have many a time.

One of the times that was most painful was when we first moved to Ohio about 25 years ago.  That was at a time when I didn't really know the unconditional love of my Father-God apart from my performance.  I was trying to earn his love and acceptance by doing all the Christian stuff.  (I was trying to earn what, in reality, I already had).

My health was breaking because of strange reactions to chemicals, molds, foods, and who knows what else.  Since there was little understanding in the traditional medical community at that time, I was deemed a hypochondriac who needed anti-depressants.  It was then that I started into anxiety/panic attacks.  My doctor put me on Xanax.  It helped me sleep, but I still had the reactions and the panic attacks.

This was a huge blow to me as a Christian working for my sanctification.  But the Lord was pruning me, freeing me from my performance addiction and attaching me to Himself alone as my support and deliverance.  Since the only Scriptures that made sense to me during that time were the Psalms, God spoke to me there:

When I am afraid, I will trust in You.  In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. Psalm 56:3,4

First of all He said to me, "When you are afraid..."  not  "Shame on you for being afraid...".  That was freeing because I lived with such self-condemnation because of the attacks.

Then He said, "Use those first inklings of panic as a signal to turn your attention to Me and trust me."  So those panic attacks started to become a "place of worship" for me.  Previously when I was in the car driving with my two young children in the back seat and I started into an attack, I'd make it worse by freaking out that I was going to kill my kids.  After the Lord gave me my signal, I would instead focus on Him praising and trusting in my Deliverer. ("We become like what we focus on" is a spiritual principle...but that's for another blog).

Little by little, as I turned to the Lord each time the panic started, deliverance came.  My allergies and sensitivities continued to get worse.  Some still continue to this day.  But the panic is gone.  I've come to know and trust my God on a deeper level than ever before.  And  I've come to know His unconditional love, which is a greater treasure than perfect health.

I have met many women who suffer from anxiety/panic attacks.  Why?  Probably for each one there is a unique physical, emotional, even spiritual reason.  The one thing I know is that God can use it to deepen a woman's dependence and trust in her Father-God.  It can truly be a "Key to the Kingdom."

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I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:3

My son [daughter], do not regard lightly the discipline [pruning] of the Lord...for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines [prunes]...All discipline [pruning] for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet...afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:5,6,11

A Branch in the Vine

Welcome to the Father’s Vineyard.  I’m a branch in the True Vine…just a branch…but a beloved one.  I’m not THE branch, for there are many…multitudes, in fact, from every tongue and family and tribe and nation. But I am in THE Vine.  There is only One, you know, in the Father’s Vineyard.  The True Vine is more than enough to supply life to all of us beloved branches.  And fruit?  You should see the baskets full that come when each of us branches really makes its home (“abides”) in Christ, the Father’s glorious Vine! (John 15:1-5)

I didn’t always know and experience the life of belovedness, rest, fruitfulness, and joy that are mine as a branch in the Vine.  For many years as a branch, I grunted and groaned trying to produce fruit of many kinds—developing Christian character, loving the unlovely, teaching the Bible, winning the lost, encouraging other branches, etc etc.  Oh, I drew upon the life of the Vine…at least I thought I did.  But really there was often a mixture of His life and my (fleshly) life in it all.

Then at the end of my desperation (a branch can’t take that kind of barrenness and struggle for long), I heard my Father say to my heart, “I love you even if you never do another thing right again!”  It took me two years to believe that God had really said that to me.  Every time I would start to trust in the Father’s love, the enemy would come in and whisper… ”Did God really say that?  That’s too good to be true!”

Finally one day, I chose to believe that God truly loved me, His branch, despite my level of fruitfulness.  Nothing has been the same since.  And you know what?  I started seeing this very truth all over the Scriptures:

See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called children of God….and such we are! 1 John 3:1

The Father Himself loves you… John 16:27

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.Romans 8:38-39

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So I say again, “Welcome to the Father’s Vineyard.” Here you will encounter many & various Scriptures, metaphors, “pictures”, stories, and lessons.  But there will always be the same truth at the bottom of it all: The Vine, our Lord Christ, is the All-Important One!  We the branches are the beloved, cared for, and fruitful ones because of being connected to the Glorious Vine!

May our Father God, the Divine Husbandman (Owner-Gardener), use these entries to encourage your life in the Vine.  May you sink down deep into His Life and live from your union with Him day by day.  Then His life in & through you will produce much fruit as He promised.

I am the Vine, you are the branches; He who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5