A Love Song to Jesus

A Love Song to Jesus

When my husband John and I were seniors at the University of Arizona, the Carpenters were at the top of the music charts.   We embraced them as our group who sang our songs as we were "a-courting."  Their mellow sound and rich melodies fed our romantic feelings toward each other and toward life in general. At our wedding, we danced to, you may have guessed it, "We've Only Just Begun." Lyrics like "White lace and promises, a kiss for luck and we're on our way" made it the perfect song to start out a new marriage...or so we thought.

But as the years have rolled by and reality and maturity have set in, so has the realization that the romantic expectations of youth are so unrealistic and can only truly be fulfilled by an Almighty God.

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The Forgiven Forgive -- Q & A

The Forgiven Forgive  -- Q & A

How hard it is for us to forgive, isn’t it? In our last post, we discussed some points that truly make sense in the entire process of forgiving others. But let’s backtrack a bit more and look at this as a Biblical Q & A session.

The following are notes from a talk I gave to a small group of young married women (I was the “older woman teaching the younger” Titus 2). So why not use this as your own personal Bible study and see what the Holy Spirit reveals to your heart and mind for your particular situation.

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The Forgiven Forgive

The Forgiven Forgive

How hard it is for us to forgive, isn’t it? In our last post, we discussed some points that truly make sense in the entire process of forgiving others. But let’s backtrack a bit more and look at this as a Biblical Q & A session.

The following are notes from a talk I gave to a small group of young married women (I was the “older woman teaching the younger” Titus 2). So why not use this as your own personal Bible study and see what the Holy Spirit reveals to your heart and mind for your particular situation.

Read More

A Love Song to Jesus

A Love Song to Jesus

When my husband John and I were seniors at the University of Arizona, the Carpenters were at the top of the music charts.   We embraced them as our group who sang our songs as we were "a-courting."  Their mellow sound and rich melodies fed our romantic feelings toward each other and toward life in general. At our wedding, we danced to, you may have guessed it, "We've Only Just Begun." Lyrics like "White lace and promises, a kiss for luck and we're on our way" made it the perfect song to start out a new marriage...or so we thought.

But as the years have rolled by and reality and maturity have set in, so has the realization that the romantic expectations of youth are so unrealistic and can only truly be fulfilled by an Almighty God.

Read More

The Forgiven Forgive: a Q & A to help

The Forgiven Forgive: a Q & A to help

How hard it is for us to forgive, isn’t it? In our last post, we discussed some points that truly make sense in the entire process of forgiving others. But let’s backtrack a bit more and look at this as a Biblical Q & A session.

The following are notes from a talk I gave to a small group of young married women (I was the “older woman teaching the younger” Titus 2). So why not use this as your own personal Bible study and see what the Holy Spirit reveals to your heart and mind for your particular situation.

Read More

A Love Song to Jesus

A Love Song to Jesus

When my husband John and I were seniors at the University of Arizona, the Carpenters were at the top of the music charts.   We embraced them as our group who sang our songs as we were "a-courting."  Their mellow sound and rich melodies fed our romantic feelings toward each other and toward life in general. At our wedding, we danced to, you may have guessed it, "We've Only Just Begun." Lyrics like "White lace and promises, a kiss for luck and we're on our way" made it the perfect song to start out a new marriage...or so we thought.

But as the years have rolled by and reality and maturity have set in, so has the realization that the romantic expectations of youth are so unrealistic and can only truly be fulfilled by an Almighty God.

Read More

Remembering Stone #5: The Sovereign God

Remembering Stone #5: The Sovereign God

Beginnings and endings, starts and finishes, twists and turns and even turn-arounds. That’s life, isn’t it? And that was true for me in those two years at the University of Arizona. Lots of twists and turns:

  • East Coast to the desert Southwest

  • Roman Catholic to Evangelical Protestant ( the entire time a true believer; a Christian no matter the church)

  • Student nun (“novice”) to a single college student, and eventually engaged to be married

Each of these changes have produced multiple stories. But since these “stones” (as my brother Conrad calls them) are describing my spiritual journey, I will stay focused. Back to Tucson and the University of Arizona …

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The Depth of You and Me, dear Sister!

The Depth of You and Me, dear Sister!

I swore off marriage books a long time ago!

Getting married in the early 1970's kind of ruined it for me as far as Christian marriage books. It was all about the submissive wife stuff, not much about the sacrificial love and leadership of the husband -- a reaction I think to the Christian feminism coming into the church ... But recently "by accident," I came across a quote that really grabbed me. And this quote expresses the truth of what life on this earth as a believer is and must be, not just for those of us who are married...

 

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Another Love Song...

Another Love Song...

I've been thinking about the true love that we all crave in our heart of hearts. It's a love that we only get glimpses of in this life in this broken world.

So here's another love song (remember the last post?)...one that we usually connect romantically and emotionally to that favorite someone. But again, truly...if we listen to the words...can we really sing it to another human being? I suspect that if I really honestly sing a song like this one to someone on this earth, then I would probably be making that someone a "god" in my life.

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There's Something to say for Caring and Commitment -- 45 Years Together

There's Something to say for Caring and Commitment -- 45 Years Together

Marriage is a curious thing ... each year can be very different than the one before. This has been no less true for us and this, our 45th year of marriage.

An interesting year, this 45th. It began with my 91 y.o. mom's home going (so hard!); then the publication and launch of my book The With-ness of our God (so exciting!); and in February, retirement ... for both of us (the jury is still out!)

Smooth sailing at first, then upheaval over a home renovation project going south, house in total disarray because of the work being done ... feeling like never ending. On top of it all, the "new normal" impossible to find.

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43 YEARS with the Same Man {Reflections on an Enduring Marriage}*

wedding picture
wedding picture

"Forty years...to the same man?!"  So asked one of my ESL students, amazed! "How old ARE you?!" Retorted a GED student of mine, after learning of my 40 years of marriage.

Actually old enough to be married 43 years today!

Marriage for now 43 years hasn't always been easy to say the least.  (See another year's post for some specifics).  In fact, marriage is God's trick, according to one respected Christian author I follow.  If you achieve bliss, enjoy it because it will be fleeting.  Why?  Because marriage is less about making us happy and more about making us holy...and desperate for our Savior Jesus!

My husband John is a precious man.  I can hardly believe he has endured all these years with me, never wavering, always faithful and true, despite my "crustiness!"

In fact, in a recent conversation of ours, I likened myself to a character in the well-known short story, The Ransom of Red Chief.

The Ransom of Red Chief is a 1910 short story by O. Henry. It follows two men who kidnap and attempt to ransom a wealthy Alabaman's son; eventually, the men are driven to distraction by the boy and end up having to pay the boy's father to take him back.

At times I have been like that boy and have driven my poor husband to distraction.

But thankfully, John has kept me and I have kept him.  And we thank God for each other...despite, or maybe because of, our struggles.  Because as we have been saying in recent years,

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
the last of life, for which the first was made.
Our times are in his hand who saith,

'A whole I planned, youth shows but half;

Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'

Robert Browning

So on this our 43rd anniversary, I thank God and you, dear John Loyd, for all these years...of occasional bliss, growing friendship, challenging companionship, increasing oneness, and enduring sacrificial love.

O magnify the LORD with me,And let us exalt His name together. Psalm 34:3 Our wedding verse November 27, 1971

HOLDING HANDS

One day, far away, you gently won my heart
And one night, by candlelight, we made a vow to never part
And then it seemed just like a dream
When wide eyed, side by side
We faced the future holding hands

Years fly, they hurry by, the simple times are gone
Bills due, a kid or two, a week can feel eight days long
By fading light, let's kiss goodnight
And then we trace God's daily grace
Thankful we're still holding hands

There's a hope that won't let go
There's a truth we know
God is holding us In His arms

Thoughts stray far away to all that lies ahead
In frail days when strength fades
Will we still mean all that we said?

Our love's secure, so rest assured
Come what may 'til that day

We'll walk forever holding hands
By God's grace 'til that day
We'll walk forever holding hands

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdX15209s6A[/youtube]

See John's response

*Last year's anniversary post...with the numbers changed :) Thank you, Lord, for another year together...by Your grace!  Amen!

The Rest of the Story: John replies to "41 YEARS with the Same Man"

574604_534210643274080_309003080_n.jpg

John on Thanksgiving at Beth's

Jan recently wrote about our anniversary, referencing The Ransom of Red Chief,

a short story in which the kidnappers end up paying the father to take his Dennis the Menace son back.  The context of our discussion was her plans to go for a walk around our daughter’s neighborhood in California.  She said, “If you don’t hear from me after a while, come looking for me in case someone has kidnapped me."

I said, “Well, they wouldn’t realize the prize they have.”  Because she is a prize to me and has been a blessing, not only to me for forty-one years, but also to her children, grand children, brothers, sisters, mom, family, friends, acquaintances, students, and random one-time encounters.  Everyone is her friend, and she is always thinking of ways to help someone else.  In fact, the kidnappers would most likely become the target of her concerns.

Jan smiled, “Yeah, like the ransom of Red Chief, right?”

“That’s not what I meant,” I wisely replied.  But upon further reflection, her kind intentions might drive the kidnappers to distraction from their intended purpose and cause them to offer to pay me to take her back.  That’s just the kind of person she is.

Holding Hands...for 40 Years

Our Wedding Verse, November 27, 1971

O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together. Psalm 34:3

How starry-eyed and "in love" we were 40 years ago as we chose for our wedding song..

We've Only Just Begun

We've only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)

Before the risin' sun, we fly
So many roads to choose
We'll start out walkin' and learn to run
And yes, we've just begun

Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talkin' it over, just the two of us
Workin' together day to day
Together Together

And when the evening comes, we smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes, we've just begun

wedding picture03
wedding picture03

We did find a place where there was room to grow...in each other's arms and in the Arms of our Father God.

But we didn't realize how much "dying" it would take to grow...and to live as one, did we?

...unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24

We didn't count on the stresses of everyday life being so...REAL:

making a living
parenting
changes of vocation
job losses
miscarriage
my chronic mysterious health problems
serious health crises in both of our beloved children
aging of our mothers
deaths of our fathers
your heart attack...and the list goes on

We didn't realize how hard it would be to "coordinate" our very different personalities:

YOU:  introverted, quiet, analytical, observant, unemotional, thoughtful before acting...an only child of an only child mom
ME:  extroverted, loud (at times), intuitive, emotional, initiating...oldest of 7 (and "the boss of the mob," as my mother says)

But according to a friend, we are the "poster children" of how the Lord's indwelling life can empower a couple, so opposite in every way, to live with each other with a measure of harmony....though not without "duking it out" at times. :)

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

So now, I say, we've only just begun...

to live a life together rooted in true love (better than just being "in love") and to experience the friendship and companionship that come from walking through the joys and sorrows of life together.

And so, my darling John,

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be,
the last of life, for which the first was made.
Our times are in his hand who saith,
'A whole I planned, youth shows but half;
Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'
Robert Browning

HOLDING HANDS

One day, far away, you gently won my heart
And one night, by candlelight, we made a vow to never part
And then it seemed just like a dream
When wide eyed, side by side
We faced the future holding hands

Years fly, they hurry by, the simple times are gone
Bills due, a kid or two, a week can feel eight days long
By fading light, let's kiss goodnight And then we trace God's daily grace
Thankful we're still holding hands

There's a hope that won't let go
There's a truth we know God is holding us In His arms

Thoughts stray far away to all that lies ahead
In frail days when strength fades
Will we still mean all that we said?

Our love's secure, so rest assured
Come what may 'til that day

We'll walk forever holding hands
By God's grace 'til that day
We'll walk forever holding hands